Second Class Mom???

So I am having lunch today with two of my longtime girlfriends and they are always looking for the MommaDrama update - which I always have!! I start to explain that we had middle school orientation this week. Timmy is going into 6th grade next year. The first question from them is "Why did you even go - why didn't you just let (hubby) take him?" Now they both have children and they are still with thier babies daddies so I'm trying not to come out of my skin. If Timmy lives with me 1/2 the time and I am responsible for his growing up......why wouldn't I be there???? (I'm pretty sure if BioMom keeps up her crap, we will have him 100% of the time). Anyway - back to orientation.....BM actually shows up. I am amazed! She makes a nice attempt to ignore my exisitance by introducing my hubby as Timmy's father and herself as the mother and just leaves me standing there. I reach out my hand and introduce myself to the school couselor as Timmy's Stepmom. The counselor was fantastic - she involved me in the conversation the entire time. Nice try BM!!
Later in the day one of Timmy's friends parents came up and started talking to BM and my hubby and it was like I was not even there......no eye contact, nothing. I started to think of all of the times similar things have happened to me. Most of the time it is Timmy's sporting events. All of the moms hang out and talk etc. and I am the outsider. I don't know if it is that they see me as the potential outcome that could happen to them if thier marriage broke up or what. I was not even around when my husband split up with the ex but, I get this feeling that I am looked upon as the "other woman". It's particularly challenging since the BM hardly even attends any of his games. Even when she is there when he comes off the field, he comes to me first.....maybe that's what bothers the other moms. I don't know - I just wish it would stop. I am more of a positive influence on his life than she has ever been. I still end up feeling like the Second Class Mom!
One of my friends that I had lunch today stopped by my house a little while after lunch. She felt really bad for what she said and I realize it is confusing for people because half the time I'm saying " this or that is not my responsibility" .....the truth is that I'm confused myself most of the time. Where do you draw the line? I would love to hear your thoughts or opinions. Take Care and Happy Mothers Day to all !

The Kitchen is my Haven

I love to cook. It is my favorite stress reliever. I enjoy the entire process.... trying to find new recipes, grocery shopping, preparing meals, and feeding my friends and family. I had an addiction to a cooking website Allrecipes.com, there are amazing people who share thier cooking experiences and recipe ideas. A great place to learn. I also have an addiction to cook books - I read them like novels - and of course while I'm reading cookbooks or searching Allrecipes, I'm watching the Food Network. I think I have serious issues :-) At least my family benefits (well most of the time..... I do have failures from time to time). My stepson does say that I'm the "best home cook" he knows. That makes it all worth it! So now that we are having cold weather, I can't stop using my latest obsession - my Slow Cooker. What a lifesaver, it's inexpensive and makes confort food so easy. This week it was Chicken Taco Soup and Chicken and Wild Rice Soup. I'm making a giant dish of baked Ziti ( a new recipe for me ) for dinner tonight. Maybe I'll add some pictures if it turns out well. It's a child free weekend so I'm planning to get some cleaning and chores done around the house....wish me luck.

Holiday Exhaustion

I love the holidays. It's my favorite time of year. All of the cooking and visiting with family and friends. What I don't love is my holiday hangover! I'm so tired from all of the shopping, planning, entertaining, and multiple Christmas celebrations. The holidays can be very tricky with two different baby mamas and trying to make sure the grandparents get to see the kids and the kids get to see the kids. Each year is a different load of excuses and reasons that it has to be difficult. Last minute planning - It's hard to keep tract of who will be where and when. That being said - we somehow manage to make it work. We have had a wonderful few weeks and I have finally gotten to the point in my life that I expect the mama drama so it's not as devestating as it used to be. Don't get me wrong, I still get pissed ....... it just seems to go away more quickly now. I try to focus on what is important and that is making sure this kids don't feel the stress and that they have the best holiday they can. The kids are now 10 and 16 so this is not thier first Rodeo. I think they are just used to the way it is and deal amazingly well.
It's been months since my first post and my New Years Resolution is to blog on a regular basis. It's almost like therapy! Forgive my venting........ I promise they will not all be like this!!

Summer Camp Fiasco

My friend who is in from out of town says "Hey, aren't you supposed to pick up Timmy from camp?" Holy Shit...... I'm 30 min. late. Now - I'm never late for anything but, I was so entrenched in setting up this blog, I lost total track of time. Panic phone call to camp, grab car keys and cell phone, race out of the neighborhood (amazingly did not get a speeding ticket) get to camp, jump out of car, run inside to get Timmy. "Gosh, I thought I was going to be here until MIDNIGHT" Did I mention that I have never picked him up from camp before? So I go in and they "need to see my ID please". My first assignment to do camp pick-up and I bomb it! No wonder I have never had kids of my own!
I'm truly lucky to have such a great stepson. He has know me for years so I did not have to go through the "who is this new woman in my life" crap. The other side of that coin is that I have also known his mother for years and I think she appreciates the fact that she knows her son is safe with me but, I have come to the realization that she was put on this earth to make everyone's life she comes in contact with a living hell! (More on that in a later blog - I'm in a good mood because it's Friday and the workweek is over - I don't want to ruin it)
My goal with this blog is to have a place where people can come and post their thoughts, comments, and experiences in an comfortable and safe environment. I don't plan to sugar coat anything and I hope that you will not either. I get so tired of watching people act like everything is perfect. Let's be honest..........it's freakin' HARD! Don't get me wrong, I love my family and my life - we all need a place to vent sometimes.
Have a Great Weekend and Take Care,
Bonus Mom